Tuesday, June 06, 2006
moving

BenBlack

feeling fucking stressed and shit now. goin to work is an utter dread now seriously, everyone has left. aldrich is the only one that i talk to now but the feeling of being at camp now stinks so bad i just cant wait for the day to be over.

something has been on my mind. its kinda private and so i keep it to myself and a couple of ppl who i have told. well, its a mistake i think which will haunt me for the rest of my life if i dont do something about it...is happiness really worth fighting for? huh? well the english nerdface better not come to singapore and piss me off...

the other thing im stressed about is finally moving out on my own. i've had enough of this man. im sick of bein nagged at, sick of the lack of personal space, everything. you screwed up my life. u dictated it. u planned every step and u would not let me create my own path. i'm 20 now. u gotta let go and this is my way of expressing that im tired... i cant do this much longer cos ur sapping out the energy from me. home is supposed to be a place of comfort and refuge not somewhere im dying to get out of....so, last nite i went to see this condo in the east. the rent is $800 for a 1 room unit. pretty cool with nice furniture. think i could live there. but i know when i leave my house theres no turning back. i dont know how long i can hold out, gotta work more to defray the costs then. u see, i wanna leave the house rite this moment but i still got a heart. its my mum's 50th this friday and if i walk out on her now she'll be fucking suicidal. so i thought i'd stay till her party, but fuck, im too nice ok? i even ended up planning a suprise party for her. wtf. yuey says im too soft and i'll end up not leaving, but i will lah. the condo unit is only ready on jul 3 so i'll be stayin in shaun's house for a couple of days then at yuey's place till then..oh man, i need to buy a fridge, a tv. blah blah...

well, i guess this is it then... sometimes life requires us to make painful decisions. but hopefully, something good will come out of it, not just for ourselves but the people around us.

does beer ease confusion? i hope so... i'm sending my dad to the mama shop...muahahahaha

peel me [][][][][][][[]] 9:59 PM