Wednesday, May 10, 2006
hello

BenBlack

hello people. its been a sorta crazy past few days for me. on friday somethin really weird happened at MoS and I wanna put it behind me cos it made me see a side of myself i've maybe been trying too hard to suppress. its a scary and extremely vulnerable side that i don't wanna come out... on monday nite i passed out in the kitchen at like 2am and i was hospitalised for 10hrs. its the 3rd time since march. something happened that triggered it. plus in the last 5nites i slept like an hr each nite. and i guess the alcohol got the better of me. the doctor/therapist told me that i have to take my life into my own hands and that i should stop playing a fool already. he said my blood sample wasn't that good and my resting heart rate is too high. when i got home i cleared out my cabinet of all the alcohol (all 14 empty bottles of vodka and 3 bottles of jim beam) that i've consumed the last 2.5 months. and i had a long chat with my mum so she'd understand me better and its all cool now. its difficult cos i feel i let her down and i let all the people that care for me down. its gonna stop. seriously. u got my word on that. oh i'm gonna bring my siblings on a trip to bangkok in june. haven't spent time with them lately so i thought it'd be cool to do somethin, in case they forgot they still have a big brother.

peel me [][][][][][][[]] 7:23 PM