Sunday, January 22, 2006
geisha's have no freedom..either do we!
DJ YUEYMIA again...been a busy week...as usual ive hardly slept and feel like absolute shit! the whole week was so busy preparing for this presentation on friday. as some of u might know ive been working on the construction of this heritage centre in camp for the last 5 months...well on friday my boss and i had to present the concept plan for this to some high powered committee comprising a crapload of colonels and a freakin minister! i helped prepare a lot but on the day i was only clicking slides (CPL can't reli say much in a presentation like this!) and i was already shitting bricks. damn intimidated. like what if i click the wrong fucking slide?! haha. so my boss was nervous as hell but in the end it was all smooth and we got a half million dollar budget cleared for the construction. woohoo. so pats on the back all round then.. then i dropped the bomb on my boss that i only have 6 working days left in camp! ha ha ha. oh well. bad luck for him..
yup dats rite..its basically confirmed now. i shd be getting a letter in camp next week to confirm my deferment..feb 13th is da day ill be leaving..which is like...pretty fucking soon. almost 3 weeks to the day.... oh well. ive written enough about it. u shd all kno how i feel... theres nothin one can do about it tho. my life for the past 3 years has jus been a rollercoaster... ive jus gotta sit back and watch. dats da easiest way to deal with it. i sorta pretend my life is NOT my life...like im supernatural being watching yuey's life through his eyes. its like dat cuz i reli have no control over anything at all.. in 2003 did i want to leave adelaide? nope.. did i want to leave everything i knew behind to join the army? hell no. do i wanna leave singapore now? do i want to go back and study?
so many things in life r beyond ur control. dats wats so interesting about human beings compared to other species. animals can do whatever they want... u can even compare the the societies of 1st world countries as opposed to '3rd' world. there r so many artificial man made barriers that control our destiny. in modern society...we go through school...we go for further education...we get a job...we work 5 days a week..because we have to. we r brought up with that mentality..its convention. more money = more success...right?...well..i think its wrong. but i cant act on it because of the society i live in. i have to be successful. i have to make tons of money. i have to keep up with fashion..dont i? we reli dont have ANY freedom at all.
i went to india and cambodia some years ago... not jus the cities but the outback villages.. they didn't have as much as we do. not as many luxuries...not as much food... hell...in some places no electricity. but somehow... the villagers all emitted a certain joy and happiness that most of us in singapore lack. sure...they have the pressure to survive..they work hard for their food and shelter. but aside from those basics..they r completely free. free of the shackles of modern civilization...free of social pressures...free of the pressure to succeed. and they r happy with what they have. its so simple and beautiful... u see the kids running around with smiles plastered across their faces... playin at the river... interacting with each other..and they r so happy in their simplicity...
to anyone reading this...just think...r u happy with wat ur doing now? is that wat u RELI want to do? u know..deep down i reli dun want to spend the next 5.5 years studying for the piece of paper that will allow me to work 5 days a week for the next 40 years and make a ton of money. on the surface maybe i do..bcoz ive been brought up to believe that that is a GOOD thing. but when u think abt it...its artificial happiness...and u waste ur life away pursuing these artificial goals...goals that society forces u to pursue. wat reli makes one happy is doing wat they want to do. some ppl r lucky enough to make a living doing what they like. footballers love to play football..and they get paid. singers love to sing...but...do accountants have a passion for crunching numbers everyday? if there was no one out there to judge me...scrutinise my life...id be happy DJing in some small ass pub...making enough to have a comfortable life... but i cant reli do that can i. blah..
ANYWAY....tiring weekend...friday i was completely buggered..didn't reli feel like going to zouk..initially wasn't going to go...but u kno..peer pressure...dats wat happens wen u live right next to zouk..have no choice reli..heh. in the end i went...but i knew i was going to pay for it over the next few days! my body is in meltdown from 2 years of abuse...at least in adelaide i wont club so much. ad, mei qi, ben, ann, cheryl + grace came round for drinks then we headed down to zouk. it was an ok night..getting a bit routine.its always fun but its shallow fun...hardly spent any time in zouk. was in phuture most of da time...and im reli starting to get sick of RnB! dunno how all those kids in there can bounce every week to the SAME FUCKING SONGS over and over again! i mean...well...whatever floats ur boat guys :)
anyway d best bit of the nite was coming home to find that ben busted my lock! yup..so we were locked out at 5am and high. grr-ATE! thot we cd crash at my grandfathers place...but his house is not a normal house..basically its impossible to get in at that time cuz of all da security..so me and ben tried to sleep on da sidewalk from 5-7am. fuck man. hardly slept. then da locksmith finally came and charged $100! fucking rip-off...
after that the whole morning i couldn't sleep...adrenalin or wateva..i can neva sleep afta drinkin...was SO DAMN TIRED..finally blacked out around1:30 and woke up at 3pm...went to funan wit vish to pick up da xbox 360 but in d end ended up getting a 2nd hand console from some guy in tampines. fucking long way but vish drove me down. cheers man. got a good deal cuz it was only a few weeks old and i saved heaps. not gonna say how much i spent overall if not everyone will think im a rich prick...but yeah...life is so fun and simple wen its jus u...ur xbox...a couple of frens and beer! BOOYAH!!! for some reason at about 7pm i was full of energy after having 2 coffees...so decided to watch memoirs of a geisha at 12:35am!!! went wit vish, ad and mei. BAD IDEA. was tired as shit...thot i was gonna die before the movie but luckily it was a great movie so i miraculously stayed up throughout.
i read the book...loved it..the movie wasn't quite as deep as u cant fit that much in a movie...but the cinematography was fantastic. characters protrayed very well...esp. nobu-san. some of the more emotional scenes were rushed through but no choice. for those who haven't read geisha...def. pick it up now. another example of a life with no freedom...predetermined destiny. haha. looks like this post has a theme eh?
went back to play some more xbox. adrenalin again...which was weird...in 48 hours i slept about 2 hours and i was still up playin games..blah...anyway..need to go to church now... dj yuey
peel me [][][][][][][[]] 3:04 PM
